Thursday, November 19, 2015

FRENCH FRIED: Governor Schwarzenegger

From my journal of essays entitled FRENCH FRIED
Copyright October 2003



            “It’s up to God now,” Arnold Schwarzenegger said as he cast his ballot in California’s hotly contested gubernatorial recall. “We’ve worked hard, very hard, and gotten the message out. Now it’s up to God.”

            Those of us fans who’ve watched his career through the years know that he meant every word, and that he’d probably just said the same thing to his kids around the breakfast table. Of course, anyone who could make it through the scrutiny of the whole Kennedy Clan and marry Maria Shriver, herself a renowned journalist and author of Christian children’s books, is A—O.K. to us.

            More than that, though, we know that movie scriptwriters face hundreds of possibilities in how their words are delivered by the live actors who bring the characters to the screen. The soul of the actor invariably come through. In True Lies, for instance, where the spy loves his wife so devotedly, and in Kindergarten Cop where his rapport with children is so evident, the real Schwarzenegger shines through the star at work.

            Schwarzenegger has also been a good sport about playing the Terminator. Whether or not we want to admit it, cinema research shows that American audiences still think the “heavy” is more believable with a German accent. The situation is still worse in France, where French families don’t usually want their kids to learn the German language, in spite of the fact that it would make trade with a neighbor easier.

            My husband and I found this out in ’95 when we visited a Christian school in Mulhouse, a French town in the Franche Comté area near Alsace-Lorraine and close the German border. While delivering a volleyball set from our hometown Christian school, and meeting the teachers while the students were vacationing, we also managed to tour the old mansion housing the school. The maps in each classroom of the three-story building were incredible. They operated on fascinating steel mechanisms that had been left during the WWII Nazi occupation of the mansion and still worked perfectly. The equivalent of the PTA (Parent-Teacher Association) was not pleased with the memories this map system provoked, but the blasted things worked so well, that the teachers just went ahead and used them. They also said they had radio equipment left in their basement that was too massive, and impressive, to move until a museum could take charge of it.

It probably shouldn’t surprise us that Schwarzenegger at one time, while being interviewed during his bodybuilding days, had old vinyl exercise records of this father’s that, unfortunately, touted the glories of the Fatherland in the 1940’s. All of who love our dads have momentos—these were just unwieldy to find out about before an election. Imagine, if you will, Schwarzenegger’s father as a kid like Rolf in Sound of Music. Only built like Schwarzenegger and quite a prize to a military recruiter.

Schwarzenegger’s name in German means a piece of farm/forest equipment from the Black Forest (Schwarzenwald) area—the same place that gives its name to the famous five or six layer German chocolate torte, with whipped cream and cherries between thin layers of cake. When the cake made its way to Austria, two restaurants fought over the recipe, leading to a legal tangle still remembered as “the tort over the torte.” When the Schwarzenegger family made it to Austria, however, they must have brought that other commodity for which the Black Forest is famous…the Black Forest Fairy Tale as told by the Brothers Grimm.

It has often been said that because people of the Black Forest area believe in fairy tales, it is possible for them to make their lives into fairy tales coming true. Our hero has managed to do this. The French neighbors are still cackling over the American headlines that say Schwarzenegger “improperly groped” women on the set of his movies when he was a young man. This implies, of course, that there is such a thing as “proper groping,” the eternal mission of the French.


In the past few weeks, though, Schwarzenegger has proven just how American he has become. While “being playful” and “not meaning to offend anyone,” he’s admitted to being as confused as any American male today, and, adding icing to the cake, he’s made it through his first election.

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